Spirituality does not mean 'accept all crappy things that come your way as something you created.'
I can powerfully unleash my badass assertive self without resorting to low-level bitchiness. I co-create my world and experiences, yes, but not everything is deserved, warranted, tolerable.
Time is relative in these individual contexts. There is no rule on time deserved, warranted, tolerated.
Here's the crux of it: People say to me, 'Sam, you can't expect people to know how you want to be treated.' And, 'Sam, save your compliments for when people actually deserve them.' WTF kind of thinking is that??! What world is it that people 'don't know' to treat each new fellow human they happen across with kindness, compassion and assumed goodness of heart first?
What world is it that I have to water down my kindness, compassion and assumed goodness of others hearts upon first meeting?!
That is madness to me. That's not how I was born, or you were born, or anyone (yes anyone!), I believe, was born.
And for those confused... my assertive badass is simply the heart of a woman being kind and compassionate to herself first because she KNOWS she has goodness in her heart worth keeping. And no longer tolerance for those wanting to change it, OR for those blaming busyness, their upbringing, or their assumption that I'm doing so well as to not need (deserve? #underdoglove) their kindness, compassion or assumptions of goodness.
So sure, keep smiling and dishing out heaping doses of kindness and compassion. Assume the best in everyone... but if they prove otherwise and continue to prove otherwise even after your inquiry for their wellbeing, before the point of pain atop of pain, turn your smile away from them and simply send kindness and compassion from afar to be truly kind and compassionate to yourself.
Keep smiling...really, smiles cure so much. But know when to turn your smile away from those trying to wipe it off.
It's ok to be the first to turn away. And if you think about it, saving them the pain of not being their best self towards you and you having to endure that is the kindest and most compassionate thing to do. Turning away allows you both to get back to finding better relationships where your instinctively good, kind hearts can prosper!
Pollyanna is still alive and well in me, but she grew up and got strong.
And strong enough to stop smiling in the face of bitches