Then it dawned on me.
Nothing is going to look or feel as good as feeling good.
I know right, so obvious.
But so necessary.
A big part of my goals for 2017 have centered around getting fit and releasing some unnecessary weight so I look and feel amazing. And another big part of those goals is based around better expressing my true style and honing a look that says 100% Sam.
But just as Netflix isn't the same without the chill, Sam isn't truly stylin on the outside without the shining on the inside. And yes, that's me talking about myself in third person. You, know, just so I'm not too close to the subject to miss the point.
I hear ya Sambo.
To the gym it is.
But in all seriousness, this has been a long time coming, even though it's also a thought I've entertained every single time I've tried on a new outfit. But for how long can we stand running an idea in our head before we get so sick of ourselves we simply must act on it.
Here, let me take you on a stroll through my mind on this decision...
The vision: Sashaying down the Boulevard with Antigona hooked in the crook of my arm.
The reality: Sam, have you spent as much time taking care of the temple holding this bag as you have scrolling up and down Far Fetch deciding on it? I appreciate your attempt to carry your confidence, but you do realise your confidence carrying you is so much sexier? Oh, and cheaper.
The reality: Booking the holiday suddenly induces a panic attack about what to wear and how to look cool by the swimming pool with a few extra rolls around the middle and what are beginning to look a little like tuck shop lady arms (poor tuck shop ladies, what did they ever do to anyone?).
The vision: Sashaying (yes, I clearly do a lot of sashaying in my dreams) down to one of six palatial pools at the Mulia Mulia in my fave VS bikini without the need for a sarong or slip, totally at ease, head held high, focused solely on the pinch-me please blissfulness of this day.
Nothing is going to really change unless I do, and no amount of pretty things can distract from my own discomfort. At 33 and with the past 3 years spent working on my mind, it's only a natural progression to now focus on the investment of my body. That thing I have to live in every day. That thing that gets to hold up such a pretty purse. And that thing that takes me to all the prettiest places around the world. Pretty is awesome, but healthy is pretty essential.
And clothes look so much better on confidence.
And I'm actually very excited by this very adult decision. So let's see where I'm at in 21 days time. Of course, outward physical change can take time, but feelings are one thing I cannot hide.
Needless to say, the Antigona is now on my Christmas list, a celebration of confidence come to life.
Have you made a decision like this lately? What brought it on?
Let me know in the comments below x