If you’re one of the happy couples tying the knot over the next few months (or any time in fact!), celebrate your unique love and disrupt your wedding day by doing it your way!
When we think of the word ‘wedding’, many of us have a very similar sequence of images in our head. The bride walks down the aisle in a long white gown, the groom is in a suit. The setting is somewhere formal, such as a church. “I do’s” are exchanged, marriage papers are signed, and the reception party begins.
Yet, despite the traditional images that come to mind, no two weddings are ever the same – because each is a celebration of a different set of people. Every couple has its own unique personality, tastes and quirks, and this is reflected in their wedding day. In fact, it’s part of what makes a wedding so special. They are one of the few opportunities that you get to ‘design your own party’ – from how everything looks to what you want from the day.
So, if you’re someone that doesn’t necessarily want to follow a conventional wedding script, I say embrace that sentiment! Ultimately, a wedding is a celebration of you, your partner, and all the things that make your relationship unique. While planning a wedding will inevitably have its stressful moments, weddings are an awesome way to express yourself and your relationship. Here are a few ideas on how you can customise the script and do it your way.
Wear What You Want
The expectation that everyone wears a traditional wedding dress or suit is changing. Chucks instead of heels, a gold dress instead of white, a chic pantsuit for the bride, bridemaids in white, or shorts and a shirt for the groom... Once you broaden your scope, the possibilities are endless! So, if a long white gown isn’t exactly your taste, don’t worry. Break tradition and wear what you want on your wedding day and own it like only you can.
"As You Wish."
–The Princess Bride
Do it Any Day - Anywhere!
Sometimes planning a wedding can feel like you’re being pulled in a million different directions. Picking a date and location is no different. Your friend from work can’t do any weekend in February; your cousin is scared of flying to the desired destination. How do you find a date and place that everyone can attend, afford, enjoy?
The short answer is: you don’t. While you naturally want the important people in your life to be at your wedding, the reality is you won’t be able to please everyone on your guest list. Once you’ve got a date set, accept that some people may not be able to attend whenever or wherever you do it – and that’s perfectly fine.
And for every potential wedding you are or aren't invited to or can or can't attend in the future - chill - this is not about you! Respect and genuine enthusiasm for the bride and groom is the best gift of all.
Make Your Own Traditions
When we think of wedding traditions, there are a few that come to mind: the tossing of the bouquet, the cutting of the cake, the married couple’s first dance. Some might be beautiful to you - some creepy and cringy, especially if you look into their orgins!
These traditions won’t necessarily be for everyone, hey, marriage itself isn't for everyone. But say that you hate dancing in front of others but are great at playing the banjo, or singing soul. Instead of putting yourself through the couple’s first dance for the sake of tradition, change things up by sharing a different kind of performance, more suited to your tastes and passions. Maybe there's a family tradition that you could work into the ceremony or reception, such as a particular song, game or ritual. Sharing traditions is a great way to bring together your respective families and create memories (or new traditions) for years to come.
Consider what's important to you both as partners in life and factor in or recreate some special moments or rituals that's been part of your journey together. Celebrate your unique relationship and love in all forms.
Hate cake? Serve crepes! Wanna celebrate all day? Make it a morning wedding! There’s nothing holding you back from mixing up any kind of tradition to commemorate the occasion with your own unique flair. In fact, it will likely be an affair to remember for that very reason. Give them something to talk about!
Mix Up the Order of Events
A wedding is usually marked by a sequence of events (ceremony, photos, reception dinner, first dance, speeches, etc), but there’s no reason why they need to be in a particular order either. Maybe you want to start your reception off with a dance and speeches and then have dinner afterwards. Or perhaps you’d like to do photos later in the day to catch a perfect sunset. Plan your schedule exactly how you want it and in a way that makes sense to you.
Remember it’s About Love
When you’ve been meticulously organising your wedding down to every last detail, it’s natural to get frustrated when things don’t go exactly to plan. The reality is that hiccups and mistakes can happen, and sometimes that can be perfect in their imperfection like a kind of happy accident. Embrace changes as they appear. It’s more important to remember what you’re there for than losing sleep over a burnt potatoes. As annoying as it may be, that’s not what your friends and family are there for and will remember the day by. Ultimately, everyone is there because they want you to be happy and enjoy the day. Smile, because it truly won't matter in 5 days, 5 months or 5 years time!
So, when hiccups happen, accept them as part of the craziness that is a wedding and recognise that you’ll probably laugh about it later. A wedding doesn’t need to be perfect in its execution – what’s important is the celebration of love and the awesome milestone that you’ve reached in your relationship.
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love."
- Robert Fulghum
Did you disrupt your wedding? Or feeling inspired?
Tag me @vp_sam in your creative connections on Instagram.
And happy loving - your way!